I've got to hand it to the efficiency of the Pakistani Government, who managed to get millions out of the country and into Britain before the floods hit by starting the evacuation in 1956...
BBC News: "US military to attack future computers"
The US Military can't even find a guy with a tea towel on his head who lives in a cave. What chance have they got against computers from the future?!
Statistically, 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian Roulette.
The wife has just come into the living room wearing see-through lingerie, and has told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me 'what she does best'.
I can't wait.
I love Shepherd's Pie
Pakistan's neighbour India has offered to help with flood relief by sending thousands of towels.
It's all they could think of off the top of their heads.
The Pakistanis should think themselves lucky. Just imagine how many more of them would've died if England was flooded
99% of Britain has donated towards the Pakistani 'disaster'.
The other 1% are actually British
We no speak Americano
That's because it's a fucking coffee, not a language
BBC News headline:
'South Africa's Zuma reveals he is HIV-negative'
I love how it is headline news when a black man doesn't have aids.
I'm not convinced that faith can move mountains, but I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers
You know you've been living in Dubai too long when you see fit girl on a night out and find yourself shouting "get your face out, love!"
Statistically 9/11 Americans won't get this
Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.
I've just put a deposit down on a Porsche and mentioned it on Twitter.
I can't understand why the Americans are so upset.
All I said was, "I can't wait for the new 911."
However, 4000 Pakistanis are now following me.
Whats the best way to pick up American girls?
Use a crane.
I failed my history test today. Apparently, "three centuries of inbreeding" is not the correct answer to "how did the American people evolve?"
